Death Sucks

One year ago today, I told my grandmother I loved her, then kissed her goodbye.  At 3:06 am the following morning I received a call letting me know that my grandmother had passed away. For the next 24 hours I ran on autopilot.  I had conversations I don't remember with numerous people, comforted various other members of my family, and did "mommy work".  My whole body felt numb.  My mind felt numb.

My grandmother did the best she could to prepare us for what we all knew was to come.  She made us cry then made us laugh by telling us that "Cancer is such a hater!", lingo I'm sure she picked up from one of my younger cousins in the weeks prior.  Her exact words, "I can't believe that I survived giving birth to 5 children, a recession, the death of my mother, a heart attack, and sooooooo many surgeries-for CANCER to take me out.  What a hater!"

Life over the past year has been…..different.  I've now had a year full of birthdays and holidays without my grandmother. She was always the one person that, even when we lived further apart, would send me a birthday card or just a note in the mail to say hello.  Even now I have those moments where I pick up the phone wanting to call her, then remember that she'll never answer.  Usually when I felt sad or depressed, she was my shoulder to cry on and I was hers. We had a special relationship that I can't even explain.

All I can do now is hold on to the wonderful memories and times that my grandmother and I had.

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QotD: What’s in a name?

What is the meaning behind your birth name?
Submitted by turtlegod.

My name, Tiffani, was given to my by my father and grandmother. My father just liked the name, my grandmother on the otherhand, she loved Tiffany & Co jewelry and felt that I was the most precious thing she'd ever seen- so it was fitting.

According to thinkbabynames.com: The girl's name Tiffany \t(i)-ffa-ny\ is pronounced TIF-a-nee. It is of Greek origin, and its meaning is "revelation of God"

According to babynames.com:  The meaning of the name Tiffany is Appearance Of God. Medieval English form of Theophania.

I've also heard that it means the Trinity and In God's Sight.

Need a Good Read?

So do I….These days, I find that I have more time for everything.  I've read 3 books
in the past month(not including the books that I read to my daughter).
I can't believe it!  Now I'm feening for a good read and don't know
where to start. 

Over the past 3 years now, finding time to read a book was impossible. I've always been an avid reader…always that child that would prefer to read a book over watching a television show anyday.  My days of reading ended when I became pregnant with my daughter.  I know, it sounds crazy…but it's true.

Initially, I was too tired to even move most days, then I would begin to read a book and fall asleep.  Then I had a month or 2 where reading just wasn't an issue- I used that time and read several books, Watermelon and Lucy Sullivan is Getting Married by Marian Keyes, Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, and a few others-mostly stories about pregnant women where I could relate more.  Then somewhere around my 7th month it all changed and went downhill.

If I stayed in one spot for more than 5 minutes whatever I was leaning on would go numb and I would constantly have to move because I was so uncomfortable.  Because I was so miserable, focus was a huge issue and I'd have to go back and read pages of information that I'd gone through because I honestly couldn't remember what I'd read. 

Then the years following my daughter's birth were no good either. Not only was I caring for a baby, but I was also caring for my ailing grandmother(I miss her soooo much).  Making sure that your child eats and constantly being terrified that you'd find your grandmother dead at any moment kept me pretty busy-so again reading was not a priority-unless it was some children's book that I was reading to my daughter.

Where does one start with this?  I think I'll be taking a trip to the bookstore tomorrow. Libraries are off limits to me when I have my daughter in tow.

QotD: Time Travel

What's the closest thing you have to a time machine?
Submitted by Verisimilitude.

I have this little dress that I wore when I was a little version of myself.  A MUCH smaller person than now.  When I was 2 to 4 years old I went to a school called Mother Allen's Christian Academy and this was my uniform.  I'll have to dig it up and take a picture.

Oh, and there's my jacket that I had.  I remember it being my favorite for some reason.  It was blue and it had a bunch of patchwork, pockets and zippers on it(really little kid's 80's style).  That I must find because I'm sure my daughter could fit it now.

QotD: Liar Liar

What is the biggest lie you've told?
Submitted by lazywong.

Well…when I was a much younger gal, I wanted a big sister so badly that I made up stories about having one.  We moved around a bit then because my mother's ex-husband was in the military, so no one would actually KNOW who I was or any of my family history. So…I told people that I had a big sister-much older than myself. The reason why she didn't live with us is because she was off to college at Harvard.  What gave this lie substance was the fact that I have an aunt 11 years older than me who would come to visit occasionally.  Yes- I was a horrible little liar.  I think I kept up that lie until we moved to Florida and I started Junior High School.  I was never found out, no one ever questioned it.

THERE….don't I feel better!