The cruelest lesson in life is that death has to be apart of
it. I’m sure many people are wondering why I’ve been so stressed out. Let me begin.
My grandmother, whom I’ve mentioned before, is quite
ill. She has at some point or other in
her life experienced just about every illness under the sun and it’s getting to
a point where her body can take no more.
The hardest years have been the past 7 though she’s been experiencing
these things since the mid-80’s…
My grandmother has been through it all: gallbladder surgery,
high blood pressure, diabetes, heart attack(followed by bypass surgery where
they had to bypass 5 arteries/vessels), kidney failure(resulting in dialysis 3
times a week), cervical/uterine cancer(followed by radiation therapy), a heel
ulcer(followed by amputation of her left leg), a second heel ulcer(which
requires daily cleaning and redressing), now the worst of the worst and the
true reason she is in the hospital: Lung Cancer.
For everyone, this came as a true shock. My grandmother has never smoked a day in her
life. She was married to
smokers(twice), but her lungs have always been healthy. Apparently this cancer in her lungs
originated as endometrial
cancer that metastasized
to her lungs and various other organs. In other words- the cancer has spread
and is slowly taking over her body.
Considering that my grandmother has been a constant force in
my life, I find this incredibly difficult to stomach. She is our family’s glue.
She’s been for us all; mentor, teacher, banker, advisor, therapist,
security blanket, mother, grandmother, great grandmother, aunt, and
sister. She is the driving force behind
our family-our Rock. Life without her
can’t feel like living because she has always been there.
When I was in labor, she was one of my labor coaches. She
cried uncontrollably when she found out that I was pregnant, because she was so
happy. My grandmother has been our all,
but she’s being taken away from us.
There are so many reasons that I want her to stay, but I
realize that after all she has been through, trying so hard to keep her
would be unfair. She is a rock and an
undeniably strong person. I know no one
that could bare all that she has and still find strength to keep going. She is, even now, grateful for everything
that she has experienced in her life and everything that she has left. I know
that she’s in a lot of pain, but she still manages to laugh and smile with us
as if nothing is happening, though she’s fully aware of the situation.
Over the past 2 weeks everything has happened so fast yet it
seems so long at the same time. It
brings me to mind of a quote by Andy Rooney- "I've learned…. That life
is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it
I think I get my humor, and my way of laughing through
the worst from my grandmother.